All
children
have
fears
at
some
point
in
their
life
and
it
is
usually
considered
to
be
a
normal
part
of
development.
These
fears
are
only
abnormal
if
they
are
persistent
or
keep
the
child
overly
preoccupied
with
the
subject
that
is
feared,
so
that
it
interferes
with
normal
activities,
if
the
child
can
not
be
reassured
or
distracted
away
from
the
fear
(becoming
a
phobia),
or
if
it
is
an
irrational
fear.
Whether
or
not
a
fear
is
irrational
depends
on
a
child's
age
and
developmental
level.
For
example,
it
is
normal
for
a
2
year
old
to
be
afraid
of
sitting
on
the
potty,
but
it
would
be
irrational
for
an
8
year
old
to
have
the
same
fear.
School age children normally have simple fears
of separation, noises, falling, new situations
(especially starting school) and bedtime in younger
children, and social rejection, war, new situations,
and burglars in older children. They may also
develop a fear after a triggering event, such
as falling in the water or being chased by a
dog. They may also increase during times of stress
(new baby, moving, divorce, etc).
Some children are more fearful of things,
even common things, than others and this
is usually a function of his type of temperament.
Also, children who have parents that are
very anxious or fearful, or who tend to overreact
to things, often have children who have the
same reactions in similar situations.
Some tips on dealing with your child's
fears include:
- Respect your child's feelings and fears.
It is not helpful to use put downs, such
as 'your being a baby for being afraid
of that,' or to try and ignore the things
that he is afraid of.
- Ask him why he is afraid and then talk
about it. This can be especially helpful
if there was a triggering event.
- Don't be overprotective and let him avoid
all of the things that he is afraid of, but
youalso don't want to try and force your
child into doing something he is afraid to
do.
- Don't overreact, so that your extra attention
reinforces your child's reactions.
- Give your child support as he learns to
master his fears. For example, if your child
is afraid of starting a new school, you should
be empathetic by saying things like 'I know
you are scared of starting a new school and
you are probably worried about making new
friends, but I think you will feel much better
once you get started' and talk to him about
the things that he is afraid of. Remind him
that he has always made friends before and
provide encouragement once he starts school.
It may also be helpful to model or role play
how to go up to and introduce himself to
new people.
- Remind him of other things or times in
the past that he was afraid of, and for which
he is no longer has fears.
- Again, reassure and comfort your child
as you help him to face his fears. In the
long run, it is also not helpful to teach
your child that it is alright to avoid everything
that he is afraid of.
If a fear seems like it is turning into a
phobia, with your child not responding to repeated
reassurances or not being able to be distracted
away from the fear, especially if the fears
are interrupting his development or daily activities,
then you should seek professional treatments
from a child psychologist.
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